the magic of it all!

The world spins easier when children are at the helm.  Or at least so i believe.  christmas is no exception to this rule.  my most favorite holiday has only become more entrancing and magical as i live it through the eyes of my children.  watching their eyes brighten at the stories of santa claus, st. nick, or kris kringle make my eyes twice as bright.  watching their mouths gape at the beauty of seven million twinkling lights as we drive trough christmastown makes my mouth smile wider.  hearing the innocence of joy and the magnitude of magic as we explain the meaning behind it all, standing in front of a live Nativity (camel and all) in my four-year-old's voice saying, "this is awesome!" can only make it all that much more joyful and magical for me!  

i am so thankful for the joys of christmas, and this year (and i imagine every year here-after), i am eternally more grateful.  the magic of christmas was never lost on me as a child, even to the later years of my life, but i feel like there is nothing more magical and more "believable" now than a giant old man who rewards goodness with special secret gifts!  and if it truly were a rewarding process, my darling M would have gold and silver, and every other valuable thing in existence under her tree!  she is the epitome of good, and i am so blessed to have her!  i, of course, am blessed with my youngest B, although she may be seeing some coal sooner in her life than anyone else i could imagine!  she tests me to the nth degree, but then she smiles and snuggles and it melts my heart in a million different pieces.  she even said, "light" tonight... one of her first 'real' words!  

i hope you all are enjoying this christmas season.  i know it's hard to remember the beauty when there is shopping, baking, cleaning, sweeping (at least in my house- pine needles EVERYWHERE!), etc. to be done... but i hope you can look into the eyes of your children, or the children around you and remember that christmas is about giving the greatest gift of all- love, and about experiencing it in the eyes of innocence, joy and beauty!  enjoy!

heart-touching

it's almost 2:00 a.m. and the baby is screaming, P is snoring, and i can't quite bring myself together to be much more than breathing.  i am writing for half a second, only because i came on here because i had a completely different thought to share, one that wouldn't take me more than four seconds to type out...  but now, i am going to have to run to the kitchen to get some milk.  i'll have to try to remember what i wanted to say for maybe tomorrow, only knowing much too well tat i won't remember, and tomorrow's thoughts won't be the same.
but for now, the baby is still screaming and it is 2:02 a.m.  i can't afford to have one more child wake up, so i must go to save the screaming one!

so much, so much.

i have not written for a long time.  i have been fearful of putting thoughts to pen (sic type), because i am so all over this world on thoughts and feelings and heart and soul.

i have lost a friend; a very important person in my life is gone.  and i have sucked it up and said good-bye.  although how can you actually say good-bye to someone who lives in your heart and in your soul?!?

i have a life that right now is centered around big things like Christmas and trees and decorating!  how could they not be when a four-year-old and one-year-old run the show?

i have a family that i miss like crazy, especially after being blessed with six straight days of part of them.

i have friends that i am thankful for.

 i have more than most people in this world.  and i am blessed.  and i am thankful.  each and every day of this life.

when i get sad, i pick my head up.  when i wonder, i stare up to God.  there is only so much that i can understand.  and i know that; and i appreciate that.  and i go on, every day.  on and on.  and on.

not even sure.

i have no idea what to write about tonight.  for starters, i feel like i can no longer commit to the every night blogging, because i do not have any kind of a regular night.  tonight, it took me over an hour to put just my four-year-old to bed, let alone two children.  my husband would help, but unfortunately for me, bedtimes seem to be reserved for mommy.  and the hour-plus i spent putting M to bed didn't even have a positive result, as we had to move into my room for her to actually go to sleep.
thankfully, the baby takes a few sips off a bottle, coos twice at the moon mobile and falls asleep with a smile on her face- the only time all day i can have a guaranteed smile!


at least everyone is in bed and fast asleep before American Horror Story starts (in T minus fifteen minutes!)  I have my popcorn, a glass of wine, and a husband who is ready to have his hand squeezed off if it ever gets scary enough!  i love our new wednesday night rituals!


good night, all.  see you soon, although maybe not tomorrow... we shall see!

perpetual denial.

i have no idea why my brain refuses to acknowledge that i need sleep.  or that i am no longer in my teens, or even twenties, and i can no longer go night after night after night on little rest.  last night, i thought it was a great idea to START a movie at about midnight.  yes, midnight!  yikes!  i am so tired today that i could faint.  and quite possibly will in about twenty minutes when i curl up in my bed and finally close my eyes!


i am not exactly sure why i haven't posted in the last couple nights.  i feel like i have just completely forgotten to even get on the computer.  probably because i am so tired at night, or because i am heading to bed at 2:00 a.m.  who knows...  

Baby B

I feel like i rarely write about my sweet baby B.  but recently i have had so much to say about her (both super happy and also super true.)  She is such a little lady.  She loves to wear jewelry and put her purse (or usually several purses) on her arm, holding it out as she walks- sophia, from golden girls, style.  She has the tiniest feet i have ever seen in my life.  She's almost 13 months old and is still wearing size 2 to 3.  i am pretty sure that's what 6-month-olds wear.  but she walks around like she owns the place, any place, no matter where we are.  maybe instead of having the short-man's napoleon complex, she has the tall-girls-small-foot complex.  actually, i don't really think she has any complex, since she is the most kick-ass girl i have yet to meet (and that includes a lot of girls i knew in mosh pits!)  this girl, (again, at 13 months old) knows exactly what she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it, and where she wants it.  if any part of it is out of place, we all know it- even the neighbors, as she is the loudest human on the planet.
i adore every second with her.  i love that she is so girly at such an early age.  i love every single time she wants to snuggle, which is very few and far between, but it means she really, truly wants to be there.  i love that she cuddles with her stuffed animals, a lot.  and then throws them across the room, or hits them really hard on their head.
she is so super sweet, and then turns on a dime into a crazed baby who could probably take on the army.  she is snugglicious and then ready to bash someone's head in.  


i never know how to talk about her, because i absolutely adore her, and very much admire her.  she drives me crazy and turns my heart in circles all at once.  she is amazing, and truly an angel (except when she's fallen, and then we all need to watch out!)  she is one tough cookie, which makes me so proud.  i know i will never need to worry about her, because she will always be able to take care of herself (and all others that she cares about.)  she is strong, and smart, and beautiful- oh so absolutely beautiful.  


i am blessed beyond words to have my two girls.  my two angels, who are as different as night and day, and as wonderful as sugar and spice.  i thank God for all of my blessings every day, and the first two always begin with B and M!

Tuesday.

Prior to today, a normal Tuesday used to find my girls and me in bed until at least 9:00a.m.  Even if any of us were up earlier, we'd all climb into my bed, turn PBS on and sip our drinks (respectively milk, bottle, and coffee!)  This would keep us comfortable and happy for enough time for mommy to wake up and face the day.  This was our old Tuesday morning ritual. 


Something with the time change, or our schedule changes, or the bedroom changes, or the who-the-heck-knows-what-changes changed our Tuesday morning today.  And i loved our tuesday morning.  Today, actual Tuesday, began horribly at 1:00 a.m., when M came bursting into my room screaming bloody murder.  After i have no idea how long, i was finally able to calm her down enough for her to tell me, "I don't know," repeatedly to the question, "What's wrong?"  She couldn't tell me why she was hysterical- and i mean hysterical to the point of nearly hyperventilating.  It lasted a long time.  A long, long time.  I felt horrible for her, but i was so frustrated that she was being so loud (the baby is still sleeping through the night, and i don't need anything to make that change!), and so tired all at once.  I finally got her back to sleep with a slight whimper at about 2:30 in the morning.  I crawled back into my bed for what felt like a few minutes, when the baby began screaming.  It had actually been four hours, but it felt much more like four minutes.  She woke up around 6:30 a.m. for good.  For good, and not for snuggling in bed watching cartoons-up, Nooooo- she was up and wanted to be in the living room playing.  i am not sure how long it's been since i've been up and standing in the kitchen drinking coffee that i made myself at 7:00 a.m., but today was certainly a first in a long, long time.


and now it's 9:00 p.m. and i feel like it's midnight.  i would love to say that i'm about to crawl into bed and say good-bye to this day, but i still have lunches to make and clothes to lay out and probably laundry to do (since i seem to be recycling the same few outfits for work.)  But soon enough i will enclose myself in the cocoon of comforters and fall fast asleep, hoping and praying that it lasts until morning. 

blank...

I'm drawing a blank, which is so frustrating, because i know i had a topic to write about.  and i know it was something of substance.  but what was it?!?  we just watched a movie, but it was not about that.  we ate dinner before that... no... OH... i got it!


we rearranged M's room back to her old way.  i have to admit, as i was laying there reading her good-night books, staring at the old familiar sights of that angle of the bed, i understood what she meant, and i agreed.  the room feels so much better with the bed in its now/old position.  it just felt right.  and she was so happy!  and she still has a decent play area, so i am not that concerned about that anymore.  i guess i need to remember that my daughter is only four.  she is not ready for instant change like an adult (at least this adult) is...


And speaking of age, my JUST-TURNED-one-year-old is pretty much addicted to chocolate.  she had a kit-kat after dinner with her sister.  then, she dropped it and the dog ate it, so i got her a reese's peanut butter cup.  she ate that down to licking her fingers.  she then pointed up to the candy bowl.  i ignored, and pretended i didn't see her.  she then proceeded to throw her body down on the ground, screaming, and pointing at the candy bowl.  honestly, there was no mistaking what she wanted, and she had to know i was faking not understanding, but i already have my hands full with her, adding any more chocolate would just be pure gluttony for trouble!!!  i m guessing i'll need to hide all candy from this point forward!  ahhh, this child is making me act like such a mother!


glad my blank mind brought forth some thoughts.  time for bed.  time for another day to come and bring us a whole lot more adventures!

that wasn't so bad...

I just uploaded hundreds of pictures from the last month- you know, the month full of birthdays, Halloween, parties, etc.! I finally sent them out to my family and posted them on Facebook. It didn't take nearly as long as I'd been dreading. It really wasn't that bad.

Now I just need to print the best ones out to mail to my grandmother, the only one in the family not "connected"!

While it wasn't that bad, I am exhausted from doing it, and I'm going to bed!

oh my!

chocolate and beer and scary movies, oh my!


tonight, we celebrated our adult halloween ritual.  we ate LOTS of candy (i feel sick), drank beer, and watched a scary movie (although, really, it was just more of a melodrama... at that!)


we had fun.  we took advantage of the time change, and i'm praying that tomorrow morning, the kids do the same!  we shall see!


good night all, tomorrow i will "see" you an hour earlier!!!!!

sleep well, world.

I just woke up completely discombobulated. I was in M's room, and I thought it was morning- a work morning, no less. And I thought tht I had fallen back to sleep in her room, with no alarm set. I had. Slight panic attack before realizing it was 10:00 at night, rather than in the morning.

I came straight in to bed after that. My mind can only take so much exhaustion before it cracks. I need to stop that before it can ever begin!

Good night; sleep well!

my day...

i drove far, far away to learn a lot of what i already know.  and sign language- something i have never known, so the day was worth it all!  i came home to a beautiful smiling portrait of two girls who were so excited to see their mama!  with a mama equally delighted to see them!


i spoke to my family members after too many days of missing calls, and spoke to my oldest, dearest friend for the first time in WAY too many nights... 


today was a great day!


and now- popcorn and last night's AMERICAN HORROR STORY!!!!!  oooooh!  so excited!!!!!!!

just another day.

we did not move M's room back to the old way.  we did, however, move her angry birds poster to right above her bed, and this seemed to make her happy.  until, of course, right after i switched off the light.  i thought we;d get through without tears, because she just said, in an almost bored voice, "i can't sleep here with the bed like this."  i told her we'd figure it out tomorrow.  then she cried, but briefly.  she fell right to sleep.  we'll see what tomorrow brings. 


speaking of tomorrow, i am attending my first preschool teacher's workshop.  it's about 80 miles away.  i have to be at school at 6:45 a.m. (yes, that's right A.M. tomorrow morning) to meet up with the other teachers to drive.  i am going to bed.  now.  for real.

back to it.

The problem with not writing for several days in a row is that when i sit down to write about one thing, i think of seven thousand things that have happened that i want to relay.  i'll do this in a simplified manner, so as not to have you sitting her for the next three hours reading about the monotony (if possible) of our lives!


Halloween was last night; my two bumble bees that began wearing costumes a week ago today, for an entire week straight, turned into one bumble bee and one princess last night.  M decided that she wanted to be a princess after six days of being a bee.  i told her that if she could put together a costume on her own from her dress up clothes, she could be whatever she wanted.  She amazed me with her creation!  She may end up being the fashion designer of the family!  the baby had such a ball watching all the big kids doing their trick-or-treating that she protested the stroller AND my arms and decided to walk (toddle?!) up to each and every house on the route.  This resulted in my missing out on M's trick-or-treating, but luckily she was with all her best friends (about seven other four-year-olds) and their parents, so i had no worries!  it was a sweet night for my girls, and fun was had by all.


the biggest topic, of course, is something i alluded to almost a week ago in To Come.  The baby walking is a given, except that now that she is walking, she doesn't want to ride or be carried or do anything else.  She even pushed the cart around the entire store the other day (extending a typically hour long shopping trip into an almost two hour long trip.)  My potentially worst parenting decision ever... i rearranged M's room around the other day.  I changed the bed and a few pieces of furniture so that she has a huge play area now.  She loved it the entire day that i made the change.  She played in her play area, she laid in her bed and read books.  She told me how much she loved it.  Yet, when it came time to go to sleep, she got hysterical.  She cried that she couldn't sleep in the room with the bed where it was.  She cried that the shadows were wrong, that the posters were different.  it broke my heart into a million pieces.  i told her that she could make it through one night and that we could move the room around the next day.  well, an hour later, still sobbing, i just brought her into my room with me.  she has pretty much been sleeping there ever since.  she has slept one whole night in her own room, but that was after a huge halloween party and falling asleep on the couch, only to be carried to bed at 11:00p.m.  no wonder she slept the whole night!
the rest of the nights, she has fallen asleep in her room (after crying at the bed's location), then, she appears in my bed sometime before morning.  it continues to break my heart.  tomorrow afternoon, i plan to move the bed back, and pray that i haven't ruined her sleep schedule forever.


and finally, happy 11/1/11, readers (and happy 11th birthday, C!!!)!  i hope your autumns are off to a great start and that you had a happy and safe halloween!  i'm going to be back on my writing regimen!  


until tomorrow, farewell!

sic

i meant, american horror story... that has been bugging me since i hit post on the last one.

i owe.

i owe a lot of explanation to the teasers of last night's post, but tonight isn't the night for it.  i've been up past midnight every night this week.  i'm obsessed with a show on TV (american horror show on FX) that i need to watch my tivo'd episodes of.  and i am just so happy to have had yet another successful halloween party tonight,  thank you to my friends who made amazing dishes and awesome pumpkin pie martinis!!!!
the kids looked amazing (as did some of you adults!)  thank you for making my favorite holiday that much more awesome!


tomorrow, i will tell the rest of the other.

to come...

I have so much to write about; so many stories to come. Like about the baby walking, and talking. And my potentially making the worst parenting decision to date (it's really not that bad, but I rocked m's world, which is why I am writing from my phone in my nigh-light-lit bedroom with her sleeping next to me.
All of this to come. But now, I pray, sleep!

night off.

i'm taking tonight to relax, watch tivo, and drink a glass of wine.  three things i haven't done in way too many nights!  my children have been asleep for a while (and i'm guessing my husband has been, too, since he put M to bed and hour and a half ago...)  i am enjoying the silence of the house, the hum of the tv, and- oddly enough, the snore of the dog.  
while, in general, i don't know what i would do with my life if my house was clean, my projects were complete and my life was in order, it's nice to sit here and pretend that there is not a sewing machine on my dining room table with feet and feet and feet of crinoline surrounding it, halloween decorations strewn around the house as if decorated by a four-year-old (ummm, yeah), and an entire new load of laundry piled up on my chair to be folded.  i will just sit here and pretend that i live like everyone else- organized, tidy and up-to-date with life.  


i can deal with the rest later.  like in november!

Quick update...

So i cheated a little (with iron-on adhesives and hand-sewing the trims), but the girls' costumes are COMPLETE!  and so damn cute i could scream!  they have a halloween party tomorrow afternoon, so we're going to have somewhat of a dress rehearsal.  i am hoping that i don't have too much further work to do before the weekend... although i'm sure something will need to be tweaked here or there!  


and now, i am off to bed, finally!  my eyes don't handle the fine-tuned visual needs that sewing brings; they need to shut, for a very long time!  

We did it!

i have to say that today has been one of my favorite days in forever.  i absolutely adore my baby, and when i say what i am about to say, it has no reflection on her.  but, the baby slept for an almost three hour nap today, and it was one of the best three hours M and i have had in forever!  first, we played yahtzee for a while, then we set up the sewing machine and computer, and got to work.  After many videos on youtube and reading through the manuals a few times, my amazing four-year-old and i learned how to sew!  It was so fun to work side by side with her, and i'm pretty sure that she will remember this day for years to come; i know i will forever.  we stared diligently at the computer, rewinding when the steps got confusing.  M asked questions that forced me to figure out the answers.  So with her help (she has much better eyes and aim for small threading holes) and with my patience, we somehow figured out how to use the godforsaken machine!  now, tonight, after i sign off, i need to actually learn how to aim, stay straight, and keep up with the machine!  but, i think we'll have no problem being bumblebees by tuesday!  horray!


i love the fact that M and i share so many interests and now that every day she is getting more and more able to actually sit down and do things with me.  we laughed, and i almost cried (several times with the damn bobbin) and we created a lot of fun designs on our pillow case!  we just had so much fun!  i hope that our sewing adventures continue and that through the years i can teach her many more things about what i know and enjoy, as i know that she'll be teaching me a lot in the many years to come!  


I love you, MAK, you sweet and smart and wonderful girl!

Not yet

I've done no laundry and my sewing machine is still packed in the trunk of my car.  We did, however, take a hayride, buy pumpkins today, M rode a horse, and we spent nearly an hour in a corn maze.  It was a fun day at a farm, and although i did nothing of real purpose in life, we had a great day.  Tomorrow, i swear to myself i will do my two tasks for the weekend.  Tomorrow.  

heavy things

I've decided that I'm going to accomplish a few Small things this weekend. 1) I am going to finish ALL of the laundry in my house. 2) I am going to learn to sew and make the girls bumble bee costumes. Okay, maybe a bit more work than I'm thinking, but I bet I can get at least one of these feats done... which one?!?!? Hmmmm. We shall see!
Happy weekend, everyone!

Reading and Chatting.

Tonight was another wonderful night of sitting together with friends, discussing a book that we read for our book club.  Tonight was also a bit more than that for me.  Tonight, i realized something that i have been noticing in the past, but that became glaringly obvious while seven of us laughed and shared stories and related to characters and to each other.  This book club is one of my favorite parts of the month.  It is a refuge from my daily life of juggling time and energies amongst the masses.  It is a time that i can devote solely to my friends and our collective thoughts and feelings as it may relate to any given topic.  Sometimes the topic is based on the book at hand, but sometimes it's so far off we would have no idea where we got there from.  We are all so different yet have this one common bond that brings us together once a month to create a united bond that is somehow stronger than most.  I am thankful for this book club, for these friends.  I am thankful for monthly books to keep my mind from being lazy.  i am thankful for the thoughts that come from our discussions, and for the thoughts that come days after- still lingering from a word or sentence that someone left out there.  i am thankful, and as always, looking very much forward to next month, again!

Send me an Angel.

Lately, there has been a whole lot of talk about death in my house.  For those of you who know me well, this is not at all shocking, i'm sure.  i have a strange fixation with death, as i pretty much always have.  And with Halloween and Dia Del Muerto coming up, there's just so much of it in the air.
My daughter (who is now 4 and wants to know even more about everything than she did just a few short weeks ago when she was three and wanted to know everything about everything), keeps asking a lot of questions.  Mostly they run the line of, "Will i be 65 hundred years old when i die?"  I say, "yes."  Will i be with you when i die?"  I say, "yes."  "Where will daddy be when i die?" I answer, "With us.  We'll all be together.  Always."  
This is the norm, and i am okay with these questions.  I don't even care if i am very assuredly fibbing right to her face about a lot of the facts, facts that i will pretend to know fully until she knows fully that i don't.  I'm hoping that comes about the time when she turns forty.


The most recent question i got was an interesting one.  She asked if, when she died and came back down to earth as an angel (another fact i told her was for sure), could she come back as the angel in my belly.  The back story here is probably understood, but i'll explain it anyway.  She has known for as long as she could know, that before she was born, she lived in my belly.  And before she lived in my belly, she lived in heaven with God.  When i got pregnant, she was sent down as an angel to live in my belly until she could be born as my baby.  The same is true for her sister.  We haven't spoken about this in nearly a year, so it actually took me aback when she asked me.  I, of course, realized that she doesn't need to go back to heaven to be an angel, she already is one.  here on earth.  


I don't claim to have the right answers to life.  I don't actually claim to have any.  I know what i know for my own family and my own life.  And these answers that i give, and these theories that we live by work for us.  I know some families do not discuss death or heaven or God or angels.  But we live with them daily here in our house, so we talk to them and about them a lot.  We're not afraid of death, we just fear not being together.  So, if my four-year-old (or I, for that matter) needs to live this life with angels around her, then so be it.  It's a heck of a lot better than living it alone.

59th Street grooviness.

Tonight i was reminded by just how hard it is to slow down, stop moving too fast, try to make the morning last... well, you get the point.
While i was bathing the girls tonight, i was in a rush, or wanted to be.  I wanted to get them in and out, a feat that has never yet been overcome in this household.  I wanted them to get scrubbed and rinsed without moving (yeah, right!)  Instead, they started the entire bath off with a game that i normally can't stand.  M takes water into her mouth from the running faucet, then spits it in a stream at the baby.  The baby laughs hysterically, so M repeats.  Tonight, despite my initial intentions, one tone of the baby's laugh, and one shimmer of M's smile was all i needed to bring me straight back down to the reality of the moment.  The moment that i needed to slow down to enjoy.  The moment that ended up being the highlight of my day.  Watching these two girls interact, more and more independently every day, melts my heart and has my soul singing!  And it took a spit-upon baby to make me remember something essential- that in less than a blink, these girls will go through a million revolutions of growth until they end up teenagers, then adults, then... enough.  


So, i slowed down.  we took an hour in the bathtub, which is pretty right on par for us.  the girls had a wonderful time, enjoying every second.  as did i.  slowly.  

Many moons ago...

Many moons ago, I wrote a nightly blog, detailing the small moments of my life, or the huge milestones we had crossed.  Many moons ago, i was able to keep up with this nightly journaling, and even enjoyed it.  Now, i can't remember the exact day i last wrote.  I know that many milestones have passed in the last two weeks time.  Small moments, and big times.  My gorgeous and witty three-year-old turned four, an age that scared me to say, but made me realize that it just makes her four times more witty and four times more gorgeous.  
My baby, sweet, sweet, baby girl turned one.  She turned one on Friday and walked more steps than ever on Saturday.  And now, I'm waiting for the full burst of running to start.  
I have done nothing but think since Thursday night.  I have thought about this last year, how one year ago on the 13th, B was in my womb, and one year ago on the 14th, she was sitting in my arms, taking every detail of me in as i did the same in return.  We were meeting for the first time, even though I instantly had known her forever.  Over this last year, she has grown so much.  She started out so sleepy and quiet.  A good month or so in, she turned into Baby Wah-Wah.  She cried non stop for almost nine more months.  Maybe a slight exaggeration, maybe not.  In this last year, she has figured out how to share her emotions, without speaking a word- although verbal communication is not an issue for her.  She grunts and screams and coos and giggles.  She lets us know exactly what she does and does not like at all times.  She is an amazingly smart and beautiful little girl.
I thank God daily for the two little girls I have been blessed with.  The sheer joy that their being brings to everyone who is around them is enough to know how truly wonderful life is.


I am going to try to write again on a regular basis.  I am going to try to find the time and the energy to keep up with the kids, husband, house, work, family and friends... and my self.  I am going to rest more and get stressed less (or, again, attempt to.)  We'll see how it goes.  Hopefully I'll write about it!

My Godson and Me!

My nephew, C, is by far the most amazing boy I know in the world.  He and i have some sort of a kismet soul connection, and i adore spending any minute that i can with him.  Since we moved away (nearly 8 years ago now), i have missed spending time with him immensely.  Tonight, i shared an amazing adventure with him.
His birthday is in two weeks, the last in the long run of family dates for a while!  Since we won't be in town for his birthday, i wanted to do something special for his big 11th day (in the 11th month of the 11th year, no less!)  He had told me that he was saving up money for a customized baseball cap, so today, when he got home from school, i seized the opportunity to spend some time with him, and to get him a great birthday gift!  I surprised him with a trip to the mall (just he and i- something that NEVER happens!) and we went to the hat store.  After about 45 minutes, he settled on the perfect design on the perfect cap!  We thought we'd have to wait about an hour, but the man told us it probably wouldn't be ready until tomorrow due to the complexity of his design... we left only slightly deflated, because i really wanted to be with him to pick it up and see the finished product.  
We proceeded to my dad's, where we had a wonderful good-bye dinner.  just before leaving to head back to my nephew's house, we decided to call the hat store to see if maybe, by chance, the hat was done.  The man told me to give him 20 minutes and he'd call me back if he could do it; the store was closing in 45.
Twenty minutes later on the dot, the phone rang.  He said, "Come pick up your hat!  It's done!"  
We drove over with my sister, so excited to see it!  My nephew proudly received his custom designed cap and beamed all the way back to show it off to the whole family!  He asked my sister if he could wear it to bed!  
I love to see him happy!  I love to see him any way!  This was the perfect end to the perfect weekend!  I will smile every time i picture C in his new cap, beaming his proud smile, and knowing that i was a part of it!

Two Down... One to Go!

Today was Birthday Party two of three.  It was a wonderful family birthday party for both girls.  It was small and low-key and especially enjoyable!  And now we only have one more birthday party to go this month!  In one week's time, we will have survived October!  We will have survived three parties in three weeks.  We will breathe again, and not have to visit the party goods store for another year!


But until next week, i'll just be so happy that today was so much fun- a huge success!  The girls were so happy.  The baby hit her first pinata (and loved every second of it.)  They enjoyed being with their family immensely, and they got so many great gifts.  It was such a great day!  Thank you all!!!!!

Finally...

After 17,000 hours in the car with a perfectly happy whistling and singing four-year-old and one and a half screaming almost one-year-olds (only one, but she cried enough for at least half more), we are FINALLY here!  we are with family!  we are all settled and happy, and it only took the baby less than a half hour to feel completely at ease with her surroundings (especially the stairs!)  i am so excited!  and exhausted!  and everything in between!


good night!

not so daily blog...

i'm doing a pretty bad job at writing daily this week.  i knew that if i ever let one night go, then two nights, it would be so hard for me to jump back on board with the every night writing ritual.  but, i am here to say that i will make it my best effort to be here and present and hopefully have something somewhat entertaining to say.
this just may not happen until the insanity of october ends!
i'll try, though!  i will certainly try!

Three Days Overdue!

It has been three days gone since i have written on here.  These three days have seemed to last a century, and have also flown by in a blink at the same time.  I wanted nothing more than to describe in detail every moment of the time i have spent away from my computer, however, i am still exhausted from staying up until 2:30 on friday night to build the amazing dollhouse that M woke up to on her 4th birthday morning on  Saturday.  We then spent the entire birthday morning celebrating and opening gifts and playing, then i shipped her and her dad out for four + hours, while i (with some major help from a great friend) set up the entire surprise party decorations, food, etc.  
My husband brought my FOUR-YEAR-OLD baby into her surprise, and she reacted in only a way that a special girl like M could react.  With grace and charm and thanks to all.  And then the kid partied!  And partied and partied and partied!  We had friends here until well into the evening.  We made s'mores on the fire and told ghost stories while listening to music.  M was allowed to stay up as late as she wanted (the birthday rule my husband grew up with,)  but once midnight hit, i called the rule on the count that her birthday was over.  at 12:03 she hit her pillow, and i believe she was asleep by 12:04.  i, on the other hand, spent the second night of my weekend up until about 2:30 again, since that was the first time all day that my husband and i could actually recount our day,  and finally decompress after weeks of planning this surprise!  it was wonderful!  and magical and happy!


Last night, i went to bed at 8:45.  I was asleep by 9:00.  i went to work today as an "official" teacher, hired on by the school as of october 1.  and now, i am on my way to bed for the second early evening of the week!  and then to continue planning the second of three parties in a few more days!  


and i cannot wait to do it all over again, and again!!!

to do; to do; to do...

When your to-do list is longer than the timeframe in which you have to complete the tasks at hand, there is usually a problem. Thankfully, due to my wonderful friends, I am pretty confident that I'll be able to pull this all off. Even if it takes me working nonstop until M wakes up on her birthday morning.!!!
I just keep repeating my mantra -
This will all get done! This will all get done! This will all get done!

two seconds... go!

this is a two second check in, because i have been saying (since 10:30) that i have to go to bed.  and here, at almost midnight, i am still not in bed... 
i am feeling great about the parties-statuses (or is that stati?)  things are really coming together and my craftiness has yet to fail me (i still have two more days, though, and several more things to make, so i should not even attempt to jinx myself here.)  the next party, next weekend, is set, and i just finished the type for the baby's big first birthday party, just one more week later.  
three parties in three weeks... no problem!  


and now, to get some mental rest before tomorrow's cleaning bonanza!

Cleaning Fairies!

Today, i was blessed with about an hour and a half of "free" time.  My good friend took M to the park, and B fell asleep minutes after they left.  then i hit M's room to CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN!  i am sure i have mentioned here before that my almost four-year-old is a hoarder.  i mean, possibly a few scraps of paper away from me calling TLC.  so, cleaning her room is always an experience.  i did my best to sort and get rid of all the extraneous crap that she collects as treasures (like a plethora of stickers that don't stick anymore, old business cards, and coupons- she's obsessed with coupons.)   i decided it would be a good idea to pack up all of her polly pockets and small knick knacks and toys and move them upstairs for the party on saturday.  there are going to be way too many kids roaming these rooms for me to be monitoring who is watching out for a 3cm long polly pocket shoe from the babies.  


i moved so much stuff out, about 12 trips of shoe boxes and plastic containers worth, to the attic.  yet, somehow, her room did not appear to look that different from when i started.  at least there was no more dust.


actually, by the time i was all finished, her room looked great, and it was very exciting to have her come home, walk into her room, and react with an, "OH MY GOODNESS!  How did this get so clean?!?"  I told her it was the cleaning fairies.  i told her that she should help them out by keeping her room clean.  we also bribed her with a quarter a day if her room "passes" inspection.  she was very excited by all of this, and even cleaned up her barbies after playing tonight (without being asked!  amazing!)  we'll see how long this lasts!  hopefully, at least, until saturday!

T minus Five Days!

i am sitting in the dark dining room at almost midnight.  my computer has less than a few percent charge, and although my plug is less than four feet from me, i am just too tired to get up and plug it in.  But this is not just a normal midnight exhaustion... This is because I have accomplished more tonight than i have in weeks!  


i cleaned the dining room (hence me being able to sit at the table again!)  all traces of consignment sale carnage are gone!  i also cut out 45 head bands for the big party this weekend.  this sounds much less time consuming than it actually was.  and i am pretty sure that i now have carpal tunnel syndrome.  i'm going to bed!  and to rest my wrist, because many more fun crafts await this week with our T-minus-five-day countdown on!  i need to rest up!  good night!

Singing in the Rain.

Well, we weren't quite singing, but M and I did do quite a bit of squealing as the baby shrieked her head off during the deluge we got caught in today.  We were attending a big annual festival that we love and we had just gotten in line for the ferris wheel, when the sky gave a foreboding nod and then opened right up.  We stood under a tree for a while, thinking it would pass.  It did not.  The baby had already begun screaming, which wasn't surprising.  She had battled a fever all of last night and then fought sleep all of today.  She was less than thrilled with life as it was, the rain just added a sour cherry on top.  


I decided to run for it, even though we had parked at least a half mile away.  We were already soaked, so how bad could it be?  Well, let's just say that the rain that soaked us under the tree was like a light drizzle compared to what we experienced on the run to the car.  i'm pretty sure that maybe only Noah had seen rain like this before.  It was INSANE!  And amazing, at the exact same time.  Had the baby not been screaming and shivering and trying to claw her way out of her stroller, it would have actually been fun.  M was in heaven, jumping in ponds (there were no little puddles anymore) and running through rivers!  I have been a fan of rain since forever, so i was overjoyed!  It's such a cleansing of the soul when a hard rain falls over me.


The baby, well, she's fine.  now.  we got home and the girls took a long hot bath, followed by a warm bottle for the baby and chocolate milk for M.  that was a great end to the day for both of them!  and i sipped my warm tea and smiled at the sight we three must have made running through the park in the rain.

Pictures of You

I am in the process of moving pictures off my laptop and onto my hard drive.  It's taken me years to finally do this, and with seven million other things that NEED to be done this weekend, i decided that tonight was a great night to start.  And i've been sitting at my computer for hours because of this urge to purge!
I have estimated that we have taken approximately 4,000 pictures a year.  This has seemed to average about 10 GB per year.  I am on my third year of deleting.  This is going to do wonders for my poor laptop, who may as well be sounding like the old gray engine who puffs, "I cannot; I cannot; I cannot," around the mountain.  Every day i am barraged with messages from my system telling me that i don't have enough space to update, or upload pictures, or do much of anything, really.  I used to be pretty diligent about things like this, but since having children, i'm lucky if i get my own hair cut more than three times a year.  So, moving/deleting pictures definitely doesn't rank.


I'm  going to stop typing now, because it's hiccuping and i'm probably impeding the last big move of the night.  and i really don't want to sit here any longer.  Maybe tomorrow, the super fast speed of my freshened computer will rub off on my brain and give me a jolt of fresh ideas to write about!  

Another Friday Night.

The work week is through.  School is over.  Another week has come to an end.  Another weekend to look forward to.  Another week ahead.  These are the sentiments i think as i am about to call it a night.  i may as well add in that another year is coming to an end.  i could probably go deeper, but i won't.  we all know that time is moving, and that we move right along with it.  so, with that, i will go to sleep. 

Quickie updates!

Update on the consigning- Done!  Everything has been delivered!  I have my Dining Room back, and i will hopefully get a decent check in the mail in a few weeks!


Update on everything else- Not Done!  My mindset has moved from Consignment to Birthday, and i need to "move it, move it" (to quote an almost four-year-old quoting a monkey quoting a song.)  i have a week and a day to do everything!  and not a whole lot of free time to do it in!  Yikes!  Everything always gets done.  I know this.  I just need to keep repeating it to myself.  Over and over and over...

You say it's your Birthday!

Today marks the start of the birthday bonanza that occurs in my house!  My husband's birthday is today, M's is in a week and a half, and B's is two weeks after that!  (there are many, many more family members on both P's side and mine who celebrate right around now, too.)


I love birthdays!  They are a wonderful celebration of life and a great show-off of the special person you are!  My husband turned 35 today.  While this seems SO old to me, i'll be there in three months and five days (not that i'm exactly counting, or anything...) And really, what it marks for us, is that we've spent nearly a third of our lives together thus far.  That is crazy, and wonderful all at the same time!


I am so thankful for today's celebration of my wonderful husband's life.  He is an amazing father to my children, and a truly enjoyable companion.  I am blessed, and i know it.  Happy Birthday, P!  I wish you many, many more to come, my love!

300 done!

Just finished entering my 300th item into the consignment managing software!  it feels wonderful to be done!  At least that part of it.  I still need to print 300 tags, cut them with my paper cutter, and attach each tag with a safety-pin to each item.  My work is not nearly close to completion.  And, i figured out, that if i charged just $1 per item (which thankfully i'm not), and i sold every single item (which hopefully i will), i will make $210.  i think that's worth my time and energy tis week... maybe?  ask me that tomorrow night, once i'm done tagging.  or better yet, ask me sunday afternoon when i see what i actually made.  hopefully it was worth all this time.  you know, the time that i don't have...

my own personal space/time conundrum

While i have immense respect for einstein, his space-time continuum has nothing to do with my space/time conundrum.   i have no space.  i have no time.  these have been issues that i have been dealing with for years.  my house is small, my calendar smaller.  the amount of stuff to fit into this house is enormous, as is the extremely busy agenda that i have no room for in my limited budget of time.  oh, the drama!


and, to top it all off, i have this vortex where things get completely lost in my house!  COMPLETELY!  seriously, i lost one of my favorite shoes in about july.  i have yet to find it.  for those of you who are privy to the actual dimensions of my house, you know that i'm not lying when i say it is small.  so how on EARTH did i lose the baby bath-tub in here?!?  it's GONE!  i cannot locate it anywhere!!!! (and i checked BOTH storage units- it's nowhere!)  same with a storage bag full of corduroy pants (at least 4 pairs, and one of my favorite sweaters lived in it.  plus i'm sure there are other fall clothes in it...)  i have torn this house apart.  there are few closets, and even fewer hiding spots, yet i cannot find ANYTHING!  i think i am losing my mind!


okay, all done.  i need to get that out every now and again!  some day, in an alternate reality, i'll have more space than i know what to do with, and more time than i... no, time will never be what i need, so we'll stop it right there and be okay with the thoughts that someday, i'll have space!

Kids say the darnedest things.

Tonight's installment is short and sweet, very sweet.  My soon-to-be four-year-old and i were picking up branches and things in the back yard today.  she was talking a mile a minute, as usual.  i asked her to help me with something that i had, and she stopped what she was doing, stopped talking, looked up at me and shook her head softly.  "I'm just not as strong as i used to be, mama."  And then she continued picking up her things and chatting to me about everything under the sun.


it cracked me up.  She always does, but this line in particular was so sweet.  She picks up so much on adult's conversations, semantics, and body language, so when she does something like that, she really looks like she's sixty-something years old, shaking her head at her youth, and commenting on her year's gone by strengths.  ahhh, my small old soul of a girl.  i just adore her!

i'm back...

my hiatus is not happening.  at least not now.
i am calmer than i was last night, but i still think a lot of people are just plain stupid (even if "stupid is a bad word," as my daughter tells me!)


on to this day.  i am sitting in my living room, sipping a freezing cold Sierra Nevada in an almost equally frigid room (thanks to God for this weather!!!!)  i am watching my beautiful daughter play soccer with my husband.  my dog is laying next to me, and the cat is behind me on the back of the couch- in the indent that sags due to his excessive weight, and the fact that he has been sitting in that exact same spot for the last 5 1/2 years.  my youngest is finally asleep after a somewhat rocky bedtime, which i am hoping means that she will stay asleep all night long.


i am writing this all to show you what my heaven is.  a house full of life and love.  being surrounded by my family, and watching them be them.  today, at our september book club meeting, we discussed the book, "Heaven is For Real," by Todd Burpo.  I am not going to go in to the details of the discussions, which were by far our most varied and in depth to date.  i will say that i enjoyed the story, i appreciated the message, and i admired the little boy.  i have no doubts in the after-life and was only a bit more convinced after reading it.  i feel like the main affect the story could have on me is to just slow down and enjoy the ride.  i need to slow down and enjoy watching these two slide tackle each other on the hardwood floors, then feign anger as the "ref" calls a red card on them.  i need to slow down and rock the baby for five minutes longer and enjoy that her weight gets heavier and heavier against my shoulder with each passing second.  i even need to slow down and enjoy these animals that God somehow sees as a part of my family, because for all the talk that i put out there, i can not let either of them go, no matter how irritated i get with them.  they are our's and that's just the way it is.  


this slowing down was not necessarily a theme in the book, and it wasn't exactly a lot of what we discussed today.  but the thought of nearly losing my child to anything struck me pretty hard.  even though i know that i would see her again, and i know she would be in a better place, i would have a major issue with either one of my girls leaving me at all.  i have always treasured my moments with my family, especially my girls, but with all of the craziness we've been experiencing lately, i have taken it upon myself to stop.  breathe.  and relax.  enjoy the world around me.  kiss the girls twice, when it would have been once.  breathe twice with my husband when once would possibly result in a snippy comment.  breathe three times whenever i look at the dog.  this is somewhat of a new-year's resolution, without the new year.  but it's a good one, so i'll let it happen.


and now my precious daughter is snuggling up to me, so i am going to say good-bye, and snuggle right back.  with no other distraction, i'm going to go and enjoy this ride!

the social media

sometimes i think i need to take one big giant leap backwards and return to a world where i am not included in every single person i know (or maybe barely know)'s thoughts and judgements.  there have been two instances this week that have set me off to the point of raving lunacy, due to the extreme disagreements i have encountered.  i realize that my political, religious, community, and social views may differ greatly from a lot of people out there.  including a lot of my friends.  so, i tend to shy away from heated conversations or even online debates (although i want nothing more than to dive headfirst with vocal-fists flying and statistics - of course supporting my concepts- streaming.)  this week i nearly disabled my facebook account.  i nearly stopped reading all blogs.  i just get livid with the stupidity of some people's reasoning.  


and this is where i will stop myself from continuing.  because i did not wage war with my 'friends' on-line, at the time the battles were bursting inside me, so there is no sense in perpetuating it here.  but i will say, that i am impressed at my abilities to hold my tongue, because a few years back, i know i would not have.  and i have no desire to lost friendships (some lasting lifetimes) due to the fact that i am now privy to every inner thought and feeling of every single person out there.  


on that note, what else can i expect when i, too, bare my soul on the interwebs.  i share my intimate thoughts and muses with a general public, some of whom i may have never even laid eyes upon.)  i am usually okay with this, but tonight, i am feeling like i may (or may not- depending on how long my rages are raging) be leaving my self-imposed position of daily thoughts reporter.  i may have to take a break, or just cut it down to a simple report of my children's progress in life.  i may not.  i don't know.  i'm worked up tonight.  and it shall pass.  but for now, i will say that i may (or may not) see you all tomorrow.

Fall is here!

At least for the next three days!  The highs are not supposed to exceed the low 60's!  I have every window in the house open right now and it is absolutely gorgeous!  if i wasn't so used to getting a teaser taste of autumn before it's really time to enjoy, i'd pack every single short-sleeved shirt and sundress away in a heart-beat!  but i know that at some point next week, the temps will rise and i'll be sweating again soon.


but, until then, and at least for the next couple days, i will relish in this heaven of long sleeves, jeans and (dare i push it) sweaters!!!!  horray!  welcome, my favorite season of all!  FALL!

Another thing i never thought i would do as a parent...

when i had my first job, a co-worker of mine (who was the mother of a four-year-old son), used to look forward to the tv show Survivor.  She said it was her one bonding time with her son.  I remember thinking a million judgmental thoughts about this: his age, the time of night, and the propriety of the show being the main ones. all of this was before i even began to think about having children of my own.


Now,  almost fifteen years later, i think about her and her son often.  Tonight, (although we are really well into our nightly bedtime routine at 8:15), M asked (and received) to watch the Big Brother finale with me.  the show was on until 11:00.  Big Brother is one of my few reality tv indulgences, my other being the amazing race (which we saw the preview for tonight, and made a family date for every sunday forthcoming to watch!)  


So, i let my not-yet-four-year-old watch the finale of big brother tonight.  she did stay up till 11:00 (do i hear a collective sigh from the masses?!?)  but(always the justifier!), she wanted to see who won.  and she was so snuggled up to me on the couch that i could not say good-night until the end.  and when the end came, i carried her to bed and said good-night, and she was gone.  it was the easiest bedtime in months!


and now, i am guessing that every sunday from now until whenever, my eldest and i will be sharing the amazing race... and in 15 years... maybe running it?!?  again, another thing i never thought i could do as a parent... but, maybe!

a little bit about my life...

in the next weeks to come, here is my to-do list.  this is not in as much detail as i could go in to, but that's probably for the better.  if i start to think about the details, i'll probably have a small coronary!


this week: read my book for saturday's book club meeting (i have not started it, but hear it's a quick read- fingers crossed!)


by next week (will need to work on this this week, too): the consignment sales- if you walk into my dining room and see that you cannot see the table or half the floor (due to all of the clothes and toys to be consigned, and this does not include the bigger items sitting in storage), you'll know why this is a BIG to-do...  Also, need to create and mail out invitations to the other two birthday parties i'm having in the next month!


by the following week (again, pretty much need to be working on this from now until then): Clean my house and prepare all of the decorations, games, food, etc. for a HUGE 4-year-old birthday party (surprise, no less- meaning all of this needs to be done as covertly as possible).  in addition, i need to make approximately 40 gift bags for the insane amount of children that my daughter is friends with!  and, if you know me, you know that i don't buy much of this- that i hand-make as much as possible... 


by the week after: prepare for our big family birthday party to celebrate both of my daughters in one location (other than my state) at once!


the week after: the baby's FIRST birthday party!  ahh!  i cannot come to grips with this one yet.  i'll need all of these weeks of insanity to keep my heart occupied for this momentous occasion!


in and amidst all of this, i am substitute teaching at school almost every Monday, Weds, and Friday.  I also agreed to be the "head" "room parent" at M's school, which means leading the group of at least 16 other room parents... i also have three weekly playgroups to fit in, dinners, lunches, friends, family, sleep, showers, etc., etc., etc.   


i always think that "once XYZ is done, things will slow down."  but i am slowly realizing that nothing is going to slow down.  this is my life, and this is the pace it lives.  and, although i am looking forward to finally resting on october 22, this is how i like my life to be.  fun, full and chaotic.  some things will never change!

one of these days

One of these days, I'll get my act together. I'll finish everything I intend to, and even go to bed at a reasonable hour. But for tonight, and the last good run of nights, as it seems, are not the nights for it.
I did get 31 invitations made, stuffed, and addressed tonight. That is one huge accomplishment for me! And for That reason, I'll leave everything else on my to-do list to have to be done. Some day. Even soon, I hope. I hope!

Back to reality.

Back to reality, and just in time.  I have invitations to make and mail.  I have consignment items to price and tag.  I have laundry that MUST get washed, and i have a house that MUST get cleaned (or at least tidied... or something, anything!)  I have work tomorrow at the school, but once 1:30 comes, it will be time for me to get my "real" job (a.k.a. mother/wife/housekeeper/chef-extroidinaire!) back on track!


I am going to bed early (second day in a row) and waking up early, and i'm going to get a lot done tomorrow!  I promise!  I hope...  at least! 

race day- complete!

All went well on the racing front. I really will write more and catch up this week, but for tonight (and before I go back to sleep after both of my children were just up...), I'll just end with that. M's race was awesome! Mine was great!
The end!

Race Day... tomorrow!

It's here.  Again, much sooner than it seemed it would be when i signed up months ago.  My entire day got away from me, and now it is just about midnight, and i have got to go to sleep.  i had so much more to write, but it must have gotten away with me, just like the months and the hours in the day.

just what i needed!

as if the cosmos knew exactly how badly i needed to relax, my hot stone massage appointment popped up as a reminder this morning.  i wanted to cancel, but had already rescheduled from last week, and my groupon was about to expire, so i knew i needed to go.  I drove a half an hour to get to an obscure place, not exactly smiling.  i got there late (because i passed it three times, because it was that obscure), so i started off even more tense than i already was.  but once i was inside, and somewhat settled, i made myself stop thinking and start relaxing.  and then the massage began.  it was a hot stone massage- one that i have never had before.  it was heavenly.  the 90 minutes flew by, of course, but all of the tension and irritation and negativity had enough time to exit my being.  i walked out of there a new girl.  it was just what i needed!


and to top off the change of heart, i fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans tonight.  that, in and of itself, was enough to turn any frown upside down!  my inner sunshine is once again bright and happy!  Thank GOD!

End to this day.

Today has just been a bad-mood day.  I'm not sure if it's that it's the first day of school, and now i am back to having to miss my girl three days a week, or if it's because i heard of horrid news about a distant acquaintance first thing this morning- news that has sat with me and i cannot quite shake off like a bad chill.  Or that i got a little less than 4 hours of sleep last night, yet still woke up early to run three miles.  Maybe it's the fact that i am pre-menstrual and no amount of midol can control these emotional swings.  It could be the fact that i am trying to plan out a month of events a month away (a task i despise), or (in conjunction with the previous statement) the fact that i am homesick.  
Any or all of these could have brought on this melancholy mood.  All i know is that i thank God i have my girls to make me laugh.  They always seem to know when i need an extra snuggle or a special silly gesture to make me laugh (like that M now needs to count to 30 instead of a normal 1-2-3 before she does anything like run or jump or play a game.  and when she counts to 30, she really counts to 30 (or "sirty" as she so perfectly says!)  


I am ready to put this day to rest, move on and make tomorrow a better day.  I pray that i will sleep.  i pray that my girls will sleep.  i pray that tomorrow is, in fact, better.  


and that is the end to this day.

Official Last day of summer.

It's official, once we wake up tomorrow, our school year will begin, and we will finally say good-bye to summer.  We celebrated our "Back to school night" party tonight in our living room, complete with surprises like a new outfit for tomorrow (one that seriously makes my baby look like a teenager- my goodness!)  and a new book about going to school.  


The biggest surprise of all (although she knew about it for a week) was that we got to watch E.T.  If any of you have not watched E.T. since you were a kid, i advise you to go out right now ( i don't care if it's midnight, DO IT) and rent it or buy it!  And then watch it.  Gather the family around and watch the entire movie from start to finish.  It wasn't that it was as good as i remembered it, it was a thousand times better.  Because this time, i was watching the magic through my daughter's eyes.  When the bikes lifted up into the sky, her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and her smile as wide as a serving platter!  It was absolutely the most priceless face i could ever have seen!  I cried happy tears at her reactions; i cried sad tears at my own.  i had to leave the room on a few occasions to compose myself (it is still as sad as ever in parts).  When the film was over, there was not a dry eye in this room.  My dear sweet girl cried nearly to the point of hyperventilating, just as i had when i walked out of the theater in Cape May, NJ nearly 30 years ago (yikes!)  I held her and rocked her and completely understood how she felt.  


I put her to bed (only an hour and half behind schedule) and even set her alarm clock for the first time (at her request.  She was so excited that we had to listen to it go off five times!)  Tomorrow morning she will wake up only a day older, but another year wiser.  She will begin her "Four-year-old" class and be reunited with friends that she has talked about throughout the summer.  It will be a similar feeling to last years' drop off, because i know my heart will be heavy to see her go off on her own for the day, but at least this year i know how much she'll love it, and that she will actually survive the four hours without me (even if i don't do nearly as well as she.)  


And so tonight we say Good-Bye to summer.  And tomorrow, Hello to a whole new year!

best news EVER (and change of blog post!)

I was just about to write about the insane amount of sh*t i have to do over the next four days.  i have to run, since my race is on saturday morning.  i have to make 25+ invitations for M's "Surprise" party.  I have to clean my house (okay, that's always on the to-do list, i know.)  AND, i thought i had to enter, hang and tag over 100 items that are taking over my dining room for saturday's big consignment sale.  (And, i am subbing on Friday at M's school all morning.)  but alas, i was wrong!  the sale is not until the 24th!  this is (quite possibly, or at least for tonight) the BEST NEWS EVER!!!!  i was seriously just sitting here staring at the piles of clothes and toys thinking that i would rather curl up into a ball and whither away than begin to enter the information into the system, then organize it for when i print the tags (and then i have to safety-pin the tags to the clothes... good times, indeed.)  


but now, i can focus on the invitations this week and begin the consigning hell next week!  i can attempt to run (although the rain that has decided to settle directly above the city may prohibit that the next couple mornings... unless i motivate and head to the Y for the treadmill.)  i can actually enjoy the first week of school!  


i am so excited i could scream!  (and did- to the point where my husband probably thought i had won the lottery when i screamed that i had the "BEST NEWS EVER!" to him.)  i am going to bed a much more relaxed and happy gal!  horray!