Send me an Angel.

Lately, there has been a whole lot of talk about death in my house.  For those of you who know me well, this is not at all shocking, i'm sure.  i have a strange fixation with death, as i pretty much always have.  And with Halloween and Dia Del Muerto coming up, there's just so much of it in the air.
My daughter (who is now 4 and wants to know even more about everything than she did just a few short weeks ago when she was three and wanted to know everything about everything), keeps asking a lot of questions.  Mostly they run the line of, "Will i be 65 hundred years old when i die?"  I say, "yes."  Will i be with you when i die?"  I say, "yes."  "Where will daddy be when i die?" I answer, "With us.  We'll all be together.  Always."  
This is the norm, and i am okay with these questions.  I don't even care if i am very assuredly fibbing right to her face about a lot of the facts, facts that i will pretend to know fully until she knows fully that i don't.  I'm hoping that comes about the time when she turns forty.


The most recent question i got was an interesting one.  She asked if, when she died and came back down to earth as an angel (another fact i told her was for sure), could she come back as the angel in my belly.  The back story here is probably understood, but i'll explain it anyway.  She has known for as long as she could know, that before she was born, she lived in my belly.  And before she lived in my belly, she lived in heaven with God.  When i got pregnant, she was sent down as an angel to live in my belly until she could be born as my baby.  The same is true for her sister.  We haven't spoken about this in nearly a year, so it actually took me aback when she asked me.  I, of course, realized that she doesn't need to go back to heaven to be an angel, she already is one.  here on earth.  


I don't claim to have the right answers to life.  I don't actually claim to have any.  I know what i know for my own family and my own life.  And these answers that i give, and these theories that we live by work for us.  I know some families do not discuss death or heaven or God or angels.  But we live with them daily here in our house, so we talk to them and about them a lot.  We're not afraid of death, we just fear not being together.  So, if my four-year-old (or I, for that matter) needs to live this life with angels around her, then so be it.  It's a heck of a lot better than living it alone.