i'm back...

my hiatus is not happening.  at least not now.
i am calmer than i was last night, but i still think a lot of people are just plain stupid (even if "stupid is a bad word," as my daughter tells me!)


on to this day.  i am sitting in my living room, sipping a freezing cold Sierra Nevada in an almost equally frigid room (thanks to God for this weather!!!!)  i am watching my beautiful daughter play soccer with my husband.  my dog is laying next to me, and the cat is behind me on the back of the couch- in the indent that sags due to his excessive weight, and the fact that he has been sitting in that exact same spot for the last 5 1/2 years.  my youngest is finally asleep after a somewhat rocky bedtime, which i am hoping means that she will stay asleep all night long.


i am writing this all to show you what my heaven is.  a house full of life and love.  being surrounded by my family, and watching them be them.  today, at our september book club meeting, we discussed the book, "Heaven is For Real," by Todd Burpo.  I am not going to go in to the details of the discussions, which were by far our most varied and in depth to date.  i will say that i enjoyed the story, i appreciated the message, and i admired the little boy.  i have no doubts in the after-life and was only a bit more convinced after reading it.  i feel like the main affect the story could have on me is to just slow down and enjoy the ride.  i need to slow down and enjoy watching these two slide tackle each other on the hardwood floors, then feign anger as the "ref" calls a red card on them.  i need to slow down and rock the baby for five minutes longer and enjoy that her weight gets heavier and heavier against my shoulder with each passing second.  i even need to slow down and enjoy these animals that God somehow sees as a part of my family, because for all the talk that i put out there, i can not let either of them go, no matter how irritated i get with them.  they are our's and that's just the way it is.  


this slowing down was not necessarily a theme in the book, and it wasn't exactly a lot of what we discussed today.  but the thought of nearly losing my child to anything struck me pretty hard.  even though i know that i would see her again, and i know she would be in a better place, i would have a major issue with either one of my girls leaving me at all.  i have always treasured my moments with my family, especially my girls, but with all of the craziness we've been experiencing lately, i have taken it upon myself to stop.  breathe.  and relax.  enjoy the world around me.  kiss the girls twice, when it would have been once.  breathe twice with my husband when once would possibly result in a snippy comment.  breathe three times whenever i look at the dog.  this is somewhat of a new-year's resolution, without the new year.  but it's a good one, so i'll let it happen.


and now my precious daughter is snuggling up to me, so i am going to say good-bye, and snuggle right back.  with no other distraction, i'm going to go and enjoy this ride!