it's 9:17p.m., and i am in my pajamas and ready for bed. this is not the normal me, but this is the current me. the exhausted me. the me that can't remember what it's like to start to get ready to go out on the town at 9:00(p.m.!) this is the four-months-in-to-infantry and two-weeks-post-sick-kid me. i do not want this to be the new me.
my husband and i have a date coming up- a very romantic date that we take almost every year around this time. so romantic, in fact, that we will be pushed up against each other in a very sweaty fashion for most of the evening. our hearts will be pumping fast with beautiful melodies humming through our ears. okay, really, we are going to see one of my favorite bands play at a smaller-type club downtown. there will be so many people crunched into this club, that whether we dance or not, we will be pushed up against each other, sweating. this is my kind of night- the kind that i spent almost every weekend of my youth. i CANNOT wait for this night!
BUT (and i so reluctantly write these words...) But... i cannot even imagine that we are going to GO OUT at 9:00p.m. on a week night (although with children, there are no weekends/weeknights anymore...) i am going to get dressed to leave my house at 9:00p.m. and that is just the very beginning to my evening. that is before drinks, before the opening bands, before my band, and before the after-band drinks... this is going to be a long and late night. Never, in my entire life, have i ever had thoughts like this. i can honestly say that it has never even phased me that any night would be a "long and late" night. i am a night owl. i was born to go out after hours. i have always been known to be (i was going to write 'lady of the evening' but thought better of that expression...) an avid fan of the dark! and now, the recent me is a changed and ruined person. i can't keep my eyes open to write the rest of these sentences and i'm supposed to somehow prepare myself for an entire night of fun- loud, raucousy fun!
okay, enough sounding like a pansy. i'm going to girl-up and get ready for this big night out. i'm going to go to bed now to prepare myself (mentally, as well as physically) for a really fun (loud and raucous and all) night out with my husband and friends. we are going to drink beer and dance and forget that the clock even exists. we are going to act like we did (dare i say it) before we had children. or at least before we had two children who physically drained the hell out of me!
i can do it. i know i can. i may need to get a quadruple shot espresso on our way to the show, but i will be there- fully present in mind and body- for the big night that i have been looking forward to for months and months. i will probably be exhausted for months and months after, but it will all be worth it- every single loud, long, and late second that i'm out.
No comments:
Post a Comment