can't hardly wait.

when i was a brand new mom, i don't even think M was five weeks old yet, an older parent said to me, "Welcome to the longest days and nights and the shortest years of your life."  I had no idea what she meant.  how could i back then?  but a very quick three and a half years later, here i am remembering that conversation as if it were yesterday, but thinking that this past saturday was a decade ago.  there's relativity for you, einstein.
i am not usually the type of person who wants to speed up any kind of clocks.  i like to take my time in life, especially when i've realized how quickly it can fly by.  of course there are some instances that i "can't wait" for... like when B learns to drive or M graduates from medical school!  of course i look forward to those things, but i'm certainly not trying to jump ahead!  i cannot help but feel, though, that i can't wait for Baby B to grow out of this stage.  this stage of baby wah-wah that i thought we'd left behind, but was so sadly mistaken.  my beautiful little angelic-looking baby has cried for approximately 19 of the last 24 hours.  she has slept approximately 4 of the last 24 hours.  she is driving me crazy!  i am exhausted and seriously at my wits end of trying to figure out what is wrong?  she's gassy, sure.  but she's always gassy.  she's probably got a tooth coming in, but really- no one needs to scream as loud as she does unless someone is ripping out an adult molar with a pair of rusty pliers.  
i just want to get to the point where we can all say, "good-night" and know that we won't see the children until the next morning.  last night, i saw the baby more during the night than i had during the day (because at least she napped yesterday.)  i ended up watching Franklin on nickjr. at midnight, because she and i needed a break in the monotony of rocking in the dark.
i say all of this and yes, of course, i want my baby to be happy.  i, of course, want her to be done with this crazy whatever-it-is phase she's been in (for her whole life.)  but do i want to jump to the next stage of her life already?  no.  i don't.  during one of our many, many snuggles in the last 24 hours, i stared down at my youngest.  she is so sweet when she is calm.  i watched her and saw her little brain at work.  she touched my shirt (cotton) and then her pajamas (fleece) and then my shirt, and then her pajamas.  then she looked down at her fingers as she twisted them around, looking to see if the materials had stayed on her.  they hadn't.  she repeated the process.  i love this age when i see things like that.  as if you can see the tiny little lightbulb pop on inside her tiny little head.  her a-ha moments of figuring it all out.  
i don't want her to grow up yet, especially because she does it so fast.  but i do want to sleep, especially because that time goes by too fast. this phase shall pass.  i do know that she won't be screaming all night (and day) when she's 10.  or at least, i hope to God she won't.  i just need to watch her little face as often as i can, see her learn and grow in that way, to remind myself that this age, just like each one before and each one to follow, is definitely my favorite!