Some people are defined by distinct moments in their lives. Turning 16 marks an era of newfound independence. Turning 21 creates a virtually untapped world or whirl of fun. The other night, at my girlfriend's 30th birthday dinner, we spoke about the moment you feel like a real adult, with real responsibilities, and consequences. She felt that turning 30 was it for her. Another friend said having her first child, others may feel it's the day of their wedding or acceptance of a major job or profession.
I realize, as i am literally staring out over the precipice of kindergarten tomorrow, that this is MY defining OH-MY-GOD-i-am-for-real-a-grown-up moment. Not that i haven't lived through each of those other "adult" moments- i'm married, i worked my way through ladders of corporate mayhem, i've turned 30 and birthed two amazing kids. I've even moved nearly 600 miles away from my world to start anew! I'm no stranger to the definitive moments in life. But this one, this placing my baby in the halls of a foreign land, sending her off into the wild to fend for herself (ok, fine, slight melodrama, i know...). I just feel like this is it. For the rest of our lives, my children will officially spend more time away from me than with me. Another person will hear M's funny stories and her friends will probably elicit more laughs from her than we will.
I'm excited for her, because she's excited and she's smart and mature and ready (way more than her mother, no less) for anything that comes her way! For that, i am excited. For my own selfish wishing that i could spend the most time with her, i'm a bit sad. I know it will all be ok, i just wish it wouldn't be so hard to get through the now to get to the ok.
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